Angst

I am a very loyal person. I use the same brand of anything, over and over. I listen to one radio station. I go to one grocery store, for the most part. I've been going to the same dentist for over 10 years, same doctor for 15 years, same beautician for 11 years.

I am loyal. Loyal am I.

I was not loyal last week and I am in such angst over it, I don't know what to do. I tried a different beautician. (do they even use that term any more? What does one call the person who cuts their hair?) I've been wanting to for a very long time, but after seeing the same person every month for 11 years, how do you stop that? What kind of excuse is there? "Sorry, suddenly I'm not happy, going somewhere else, not going to give you another chance." She knows my hair. Listen, that is important stuff, right there. Not everyone knows my hair, most people don't. A friend once asked how I straighten my waves. hahahahahahahaha. Even today that is funny. My hair is as straight as a board. I've no idea why she thought it was wavy.

I feel such anxiety. What if I see her around town? (never, in 11 years, have I ever seen her around town, but it could happen tomorrow) We're friends and I don't want to be rude or unfeeling or her to feel I was a betrayer. I've been betrayed enough to know that pain. She's going to know I went somewhere else just by looking at me. How do I explain that? Why is this such a big deal to me? Clients come and clients go, it's part of the business.

The stickler is I really like my latest hair cut. So do I go back to the new gal or go back to my original gal and have her trim now that the shape is better?

When I was driving to my appointment last week, it felt like what I remember a first date feeling like. Telling my story, getting her story, would I like her, would she like me, would it be a good cut? All that nervousness on top of the angst over being "unfaithful".

Listen girls, you know how important a good hair cut is but I'm feeling like a drama queen. If you have any advice, please PLEASE tell me! Please help end my angst.