Where's the Pause Button?

Today, according to the calendar, our family begins a new journey. We are entering the teenage years. Do not ask me where the last 13 years have gone. They slipped by while I was doing ... something...I'm sure it was terribly important whatever I've been doing...had to be so important...because ALL OF THE SUDDEN our girl is 13. Steve and I were talking last night that five years ago we moved into this house and in five years our girl will be ready to move out of this house. My heart. It cannot take it. Can Not.

August 1996, we had been living in a rental house downtown. We had just moved from Eastern Idaho in the Spring. Both of us were working. I came home to discover we had been robbed. Someone broke into our house and touched all our stuff and took a lot of our stuff. It is a horrificly violated feeling. Two day later, we were robbed again. I kid you not. We moved out by the next evening. Put our belongings in storage and parked in the last extra bedroom of Steve's parents house. Steve's cousin and wife were in the other extra bedroom for the summer. Full house.

We were ready to start a family and decided this setback wouldn't discourage us from that. Steve told me years later that he didn't think I'd get pregnant so quickly or he would not have agreed so easily. ha. I dreamed of a little girl with dark wavy hair with a specific name. I mean, I literally had a dream of this girl. (Incidentally, same thing happened when I was pregnant with our son. Dreamed of a boy with a specific name.)

This beloved girl has caused my heart to be walking around outside of my body for 13 years now. She is why I am a mother. She is why I am trying to get my act together, so she'll have an example of a woman who continually seeks God, his forgiveness, his mercy, his wisdom, his strength, his security. She is literally why I have not given up on this thing called life. There was a time I was very very tempted to call it quits. Depression is a very dark place to go but God is light and he used the face of my daughter to keep me going day after day after day. Praise Him.

This beloved girl is so smart, funny, fun, sweet, compassionate, and loving. She is becoming a young lady who is all that and so much more. God has a great plan for her and I am excited to see what it's going to be. Happy birthday, daughter. I love you so very much and I am so very proud of you.




I really wanted to post a picture of her as a toddler, but we didn't get a digital camera until 3 years ago. This was her 10th birthday:



P.S. Any of you with daughters may want to check out this post here. I want to encourage us to be aware of our culture so we can talk to our girls about what God values. If we don't tell them, who will?